Hey, sweet girl.
When I went in to see you this morning, your CPAP was back to a level of 12. 10 to 12 so quickly it seems. I'll admit my heart broke a little. An x-ray of your lungs and abdomen was taken to see what exactly is going on inside of you that may have led to back step. The doctor showed me your x-ray which basically showed that your lungs are still damaged from the vent (fortunately, nothing that you can't eventually repair) and that the pressure from the CPAP (which is necessary for your lungs to stay open) is putting a lot of air into your tummy which then pushes back on your lungs requiring a higher pressure/level of CPAP. A catch-22, you might say. And quite a mouthful at that. Basically, with time and growth lengthwise, your lungs will repair the damage and grow where they need to be. Time is all we need. Just time.
Today was a bit of a rough day for me emotionally, though I can't even imagine how it must have been for you, little one. I'd like to blame the weepy-ness on hormones, okay? It's hard knowing and seeing how uncomfortable you are all the time. It hurts my heart. Thankfully, we are leaps and bounds from the original prognosis before you came, so we know that we have been extremely fortunate. You are still my little miracle baby and we will continue to make progress. We will beat this. When we look back some day, this will be a minor set back in the scheme of things. Today I am very thankful for you, D, and all the doctors and nurses that take such good care of our little family. We have been so blessed. Even amidst trial and sorrow come blessings of all kinds from the most unexpected places.
I love you so much and pray for the day that you are well enough to come home. We love you.
7 weeks down with perhaps 8 or more to go?
